Tips from my fifty-year long love affair with nature
I was born in a city, to parents who had lived their whole lives in cities. As a young child, I lived in Queens, New York. The closest I got to nature back then typically consisted of going to the beach and swimming in the ocean.
One of my earliest memories from childhood was a time when a friend of mine and I snuck into a neighbor’s garden. I was around six years old and had never been in a garden before. …
Finding space to be our best selves
One of my exes called me today and asked me to help him figure out how to handle a problem with one of the women working as a caretaker for his mother.
She's a thief!
“She’s a thief!” he said when he got me on the phone. Then he went on to explain that she wasn’t exactly a thief. The problem is that she has been using personal care items that he gave her access to in the past — things like q-tips and flossing picks. …
Reentry is impossible — a poem and essay
I don’t want to go back
to a world where there
is no time for play;
no way to work from home,
no place,
no space,
for a life of our own.
I don’t want to re-enter
at the same exit door,
to the same daily stresses,
the same grinding chores.
We’ve lost
and
learned
and lost
this year.
Friends, foes
and family
no longer here.
I won’t go back.
I can’t go back.
There is no back
to go to.
You can’t re-enter
when it’s gone.
Each new clue
reminding us
the variant is
upon us
and we might not
thrive,
or even…
A story I shared with my grandson about when I had the measles
My grandson was scheduled to get some childhood vaccinations today. Not a COVID one; he’s not old enough for that yet. He needed some of the childhood disease ones.
This little boy is special to me. He and I share superpowers around how we interact with the world through our senses. He was really afraid of getting that needle, and last night my daughter asked me if I would talk to him about it. She knows he listens to what I have to say and also knows I respect his right to make choices about his body.
My reaction was…
Reflections from the past into the present
Camp is almost over. We are in the last week of our seven weeks at Nana’s house. These words began a journal entry from five years ago.
The journal continued
Today went really well. Both granddaughter (7) and grandson (5) slept well (GS actually stayed all night in his bed!), ate well, had a good day at camp, swam when we got home, ate well, and behaved well at the diner we went to with a friend. Then we came home, watched some reading rainbow videos, got into PJs, brushed teeth, and went to bed.
When it was time for bed, I cuddled…
That doesn’t mean your parents were monsters
I’ve often had conversations about people’s childhoods where they describe being hit or shamed or otherwise mistreated. They often want to reassure the listeners. For example, “I was not an abused child” is a frequent statement after they have given lengthy descriptions of abusive or neglectful or just downright messed up behavior.
Why children don’t want to blame parents
Children, and the adults they grow into, want to love their parents, want to know their parents love or loved them, and believe that if mommy does it, it must be right. …
Organic gardening basics
Children can help with gardening beginning at a very young age, starting a lifelong love of the outdoors. Whether a spot for children to play in the garden, a garden of their own, or a faerie garden where adults and children alike can find whimsy, gardens offer opportunities for people of all ages.
Gardening with a toddler
Babies and toddlers like to put things in their mouths. One reason why organic gardening is great for babies and toddlers is the fruit and vegetables you grow are safe to eat right in the garden!
Toddlers have brains that are like little sponges. Everything you teach…
Organic gardening basics
One of the first things to do when you decide to have a garden is to create a plan. To make that plan, you will need to determine where your garden will be located and how you want to use your garden. Knowing your location will help you understand the amount of sun and space available, which, in turn, will help you know which plants you want to grow and when to plant them.
How do you want to use your garden?
There are many ways you might want to use your garden. Here are a few ways I’ve used my garden in the past.
- Growing ornamentals: Whether…
Or don’t, if it adds to your pain
TW: rape, suicide.
Imagine being outside,
on a beautiful day,
and having a group of boys
rape you.
Imagine you’re only 15
or maybe 14.
Imagine thinking about suicide
for the next 50 years
because you thought
it was your fault.
Imagine being a child
and wondering if the world
would be better off without you.
Imagine thinking that at 15
or maybe younger.
Imagine having the man you love,
kick you down some stairs
and then kick you again
in the stomach,
as you lay on the floor,
protecting the baby
you might be carrying.
Imagine being glad
you…
I’m not sorry for writing this
People make mistakes. Relationships are messy. Sometimes we all do something that hurts someone we care about, or we do something just plain wrong. When that happens, a heartfelt apology can go a long way to soothe the troubled waters.
Yet, somehow, saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t always work. There can be a lot of reasons why your apology didn’t help repair the damage. You may have done something that needs a lot more than words to help create healing. Your relationship may have been at the tipping point, and this most recent event pushed it over the edge. The other…
